Regarding recent self-reviews of ancient blogging, it would make sense to unearth Gawkerist, which is inexplicably still online (though sadly the Haloscan comments have disappeared). Ooof, what an artifact of a more innocent age. On some level I think it’d be fun to start up Gawkerist again — after all, I know a lot more on the subject, and there’s a lot more fodder to work with these days. But some portion of my soul shrinks from the prospect. Maybe I’ll reconsider when that part of my soul dies.
The first time I received the link to Nick Denton’s Brain Droppings I didn’t think much of it, there were only three entries and none were very funny.
That was until people started accusing me of being the person behind it all. Unfortunately when you’re the class clown of the company you tend to get blamed for everything first. Which I was totally fine with until Fake Nick Denton went after me. And even that I didn’t mind, it was the fact people still thought I would be writing about Moe that really bugged me.
It became my mission to find out who this person was.
I have been on the case for weeks and after I have gathered all my evidence I strongly suspect former Gawker employee and currently Radar Magazine’s online managing editor Alex Balk, who after suffering the loss of the ability to write as the voice of his cock, he might be looking for some new outlet. As I dug the evidence piled up quickly.
On February 4th, 2008 Alex Balk writes the following post on his Tumblr“Someone should start up a Famous Original Fake Nick Denton tumblr. I’d do it, but I’m too busy writing the other two.” The VERY NEXT DAY Fake Nick Denton Is Born. And since then the time stamp on this February 4th post has oddly been moved to Valentine’s Day (easily done in Tumblr), way after Fake Nick Denton had posted 35 Tumblr posts. But by Valentine’s Day the hunt for Fake Nick Denton was already in full effect and on Feb 11, 2008 12:32 PM, Alexander Balk replied to the alegations via email. When asked if he was Fake Nick Denton he replied “No, I’m not, Saw Nick on Friday, and we were talking about it. Definitely someone on the inside.” So on February 11th he claims he’s not Fake Nick Denton but three days later he openly suggests someone makes a Fake Nick Denton Tumblr when he already knows full well there is already one out there?
Nobody was more insidery during their time at Gawker than Alex Balk was. He was in the office every single day for over a year, I know because I sat right across from him.
Yes, Alex Balk did see The Real Nick Denton on that Friday, at a Radar Party, the following evening this post about Neel Shah showed up on Fake Nick Denton. This puts both Real Nick Denton and Fake Nick Denton AKA Alex Balk in the same place at the same time.
The “tipster” who emailed both Valleywag and Cajun Boy about Fake Nick Denton holds the email address of one “Jim Pittman”, who from 1966 to 1970, he served as the head football coach at Tulane. The very school Alex Balk attended. And who is this fake person who would know both Cajun Boy and to would have the foresight to tip off Valleywag?
If I could I would like to call to the stand Millard Fillmore, or at least the “references” of Millard Fillmore. Yes Balk, who else has a hard on for Millard Fillmore more than you do? Oh that’s right, Fake Nick Denton. What are the odds?
We have motive, a loss of writing as his cock. The need to cut loose like he did at Gawker, which he is no longer allowed at Radar. We have evidence of the backdating of posts, emails and eyewitness accounts that put Alex Balk at the scene of the crime.
Right now in my office, a Brazilian software developer sitting near me is crooning a lullaby in Italian to his infant child via webcam, while the programmer’s beaming wife dandles the baby on her lap. Both wife and baby are in Italy, while the developer works here in New York. I swear I can hear ambient sentimental string music spontaneously generated by the cosmos just to go with this moment.
"i mean my dad was the chief of the gang, the cypress bums"
Not sure why, but some gremlitic individual has seen fit to invade this innocuous post with a stream of consciousness the likes of which I’ve not seen in a while:
but did ya know cleaning hearst castle by yourself is not much fun. i wouldn’t get to high and mighty. what goes up does come down. and conversely what go down come up, don’t vomit on those new clothes. best of health to you all. its our only real wealth. dr. bronner’s hunza chips need to come back on the market. garden of eatin’ is more than a place beyond space-time.
Pretty much just goes on like that. We published ‘em in hopes he’ll continue.