Actual police blotter items from the actual town where I actually live:
Saturday, August 4
6:10 p.m. A pool repairman began repairing a hotel pool on the 700 block of Airport Boulevard. The manager said there was nothing wrong with the pool. The repairman had already started working and damaged the pool before finding out he was supposed to respond to a different hotel in another city.
Sunday, August 5
3:33 a.m. A resident on the 100 block of Elm Avenue reported something was on the roof. It was found to be a raccoon.
10:22 a.m. A resident on the 0 block of Howard Avenue reported an acquaintance was previously drinking and now in her backyard yelling at her. The subject was sent on his way.
Monday, August 6
11:36 p.m. There was a report of juveniles yelling and appearing to have fun on the 1300 block of Vancouver Avenue. They could not be located.