Chris Mohney

Posts tagged reviews of my son's toys

3 notes

REVIEWS OF MY SON’S TOYS: Multi-Flanged Universal Distractor
A trytoohardy failure, I’m afraid. The four-armed hub sports a split pair of orange slices, a bumpy spheroid resembling a peach pit, a nubbed cylinder, and a smiley face imprisoned in a transparent orb, all of which spin in their respective sockets. And the whole assemblage rotates on an irregular hand-bracket. I think this toy hates itself.
Bite It? No. Various protrusions and distracting spinnings mean even a double grip doesn’t provide an easy path to the oral cavity.

REVIEWS OF MY SON’S TOYS: Multi-Flanged Universal Distractor

A trytoohardy failure, I’m afraid. The four-armed hub sports a split pair of orange slices, a bumpy spheroid resembling a peach pit, a nubbed cylinder, and a smiley face imprisoned in a transparent orb, all of which spin in their respective sockets. And the whole assemblage rotates on an irregular hand-bracket. I think this toy hates itself.

Bite It? No. Various protrusions and distracting spinnings mean even a double grip doesn’t provide an easy path to the oral cavity.

Filed under reviews of my son's toys

4 notes

REVIEWS OF MY SON’S TOYS: Spiky Death Balls
Despite appearances the Spiky Death Balls are not really dangerous for an infant. The stubby spikes aren’t sharp; they just provide a pleasing, very grippable textured surface for small hands and fingers. However, they feel somehow lethal in an adult hand, and I’m betting if I really whanged one at somebody it would leave a nasty welt.
Bite It? Apparently not. My son has yet to try and put these in or near his mouth. Probably a little intimidating at this stage.

REVIEWS OF MY SON’S TOYS: Spiky Death Balls

Despite appearances the Spiky Death Balls are not really dangerous for an infant. The stubby spikes aren’t sharp; they just provide a pleasing, very grippable textured surface for small hands and fingers. However, they feel somehow lethal in an adult hand, and I’m betting if I really whanged one at somebody it would leave a nasty welt.

Bite It? Apparently not. My son has yet to try and put these in or near his mouth. Probably a little intimidating at this stage.

Filed under reviews of my son's toys